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But is it still significantly slower to open than even the king of bloat MS Office? Because that speaks volumes about its inelegance.

MS Office has something called OSA.exe (Office Startup Assistant) that preloads the shared code used by the Office programs. This happens at boot time, so you don't associate it with Office programs.

Hi Tim:

I was using MS Office XP -- without any startup assistant -- and it started up much, much quicker than LO 3.4 / 3.5. I've since abandoned both and am now using Kingsoft Office 2012 (not to steal LO's thunder here). KO has a few minor quirks too, but it is much faster and more nimble than either. May not be the answer for every need, but it fits my relatively uncomplicated requirements very well -- and I am quite happy with it.