Posted 08 October 2006 - 07:32 AM
[quote name='MEL810']> {quote:title=chasbeard wrote:}{quote}> {quote:title=lrosen9999 wrote:}{quote}As a psychologist who studies MySpace, I think you are missing the point. The fact that the individual sites are chaotic and look like a child's bedroom is because this is one of the only places where adolescents and young adults can freely express themselves without having their parents yell at them to clean up their rooms. Teens these days have few "safe" places where they can hang out and just be teenagers. Malls are no longer safe. Street corners are out. Parents work and want their kids home after school. > > > > > > > > > > > > I also dispute your assertion that MySpace is "a one-stop shopping mall for online predators." Research shows that this is simply not true. As the 11th largest country in the world you would expect sexual solicitations but the teens are handling them with ease and research shows that it is not upsetting to them .. just to their parents. Feel free to visit my website at www.csudh.edu/psych/lrosen.htm for reports on my research.> > > > > > > > Sir, you should wake up. Only in backwater areas and some liberal enclaves in America or in Third World countries where you are likely to die by 30, does anyone think its okay to solicit children for physical favors. The fact that someone did some research that shows (some/ many/ most?) kids on MySpace don't get upset when sexually solicited hardly makes the place a safe haven for kids to be kids. I realize you limited your remarks to adolescents and young adults -- people who, by the way, are still conisdered not of majority age for a reason. Please note that when I used the term "children" it encompasses those age groups. Do you not have chlidren? If so, I hope you know that childhood is a time when children should be kept safe while being taught how to protect themselves? Some things children should experience -- riding a bike, swimming, climbing trees -- others, are sacred by nature, and are reserved each for their own time, e.g., sexual relations are for marriage, or are dangerous, like skydiving. And whether you agree or not, for the most part, people have decided that until people are of a certain age, there are certain activities from which those younger persons should be kept. The decision is not theirs to make, because by and large, they don't have control of their urges and are too easily swayed by anyone with an opinion. By the way, considering you are a professional, I would have thought you realize only idiots trust "experts" that don't cite the source. Feel free to reply, as I would like to know what research you are citing.> > > > My children, and those I have been blessed to teach, whether well-behaved or troubled, have neither been coddled nor sheltered while in my care, but they have been protected. The fact that some pervert wants to touch them, does not mean that we should open them up to those solicitations. When they are grown, they can make decisions based on their beliefs and protect themselves or turn to the authority figures in their lives at that time. For now, what greater purpose do we have than to guide and guard our children and make the world a better place for the next generation?> > > > Lastly, you should note that some children relish the attention of others, even it is from depraved individuals that guide them into making decisions that will haunt them the remainder of their lives.> > > > I don't frequent MySpace, so I can't comment on its site design, but as a resident of Richmond, VA, I can comment on its teen safety record.> > Taylor Biehl, a 17 year old college freshman, blogged about her personal life and sexuality on MySpace and met fellow blogger, 38 year old male Ben Fawley. > > Fawley murdered Ms. Biehl. Some believe it was intentional but Fawley contends it was rough sex that got terribly and fatally out of hand. Either way, it ended Taylor's young life.> > Anyone who believes that adult predators and crazies don't roam MySpace looking for vulnerable and/or excitement-seeking young people, is naive and just not seeing what is really out there today. They are also unaware of how easily influenced kids are. > > An adult who tells an insecure and searching teen how pretty and 'mature for her age' she is and that only she understands him can wrap that teen around his twisted little finger. And not to be homophobic or sexist: There are also homosexuals and women who prey on insecure young boys.DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape, or form responsible for the usage of slang or "teenspeak" included in this post. You don't have to read it.Since when has it been just the intarweb that houses all of these "crazies"? There are more sex offenses offline than there are online. I see that you pointed out a situation in which a young girl, Taylor Biehl, made a mistake to meet a man whom she did not know all too well. Does that mean we censor everything because some parent can't teach their kid that "When someone who you don't know talks to you, be careful not to give out any information!"?Hell no we don't! It is certainly not my fault that, albeit while the US is an undereducated society, one can't even teach one's child that taling to strangers is a no-no. The first thing my father did when I started playing my first MMORPG was tell me that it would be very dangerous to give out any information to anyone online. Even though, a few months later, I gave my cell number to my soon-to-be longtime girlfriend, but I digress.In regards, specifically, to the second quote: Dr. Larry D. Rosen (you know, the one who specializes in the workings of the human mind) had a great point. You freak out because your kids are solicited with sexual requests and/or comments, but what do the kids do? They brush it off. They've learned that, while there is a danger to this kind of thing, they can work around it to still be able to talk to their friends in an ever-so-popular and fast way. I think that it's the parents that need to learn, too. They need to learn that this is not Leaver It To Beaver; Daddy and Mommy have a 50% chance of becoming Daddy and That-Wench-Who-Stole-My-House. They need to learn that it's not a scary thought that their kids know how to handle sexual predators. And they need to learn to KEEP TRACK of their goddamn kids, or they'll find that the Taylor incident will hit home. Oh, and he didn't say it was okay to solicit children for physical favors; he said that the children are dealing with it better than your God-bless-the-US, u-r-bad-soz-u-need-teh-burn-at-stake mentality. We are not Puritans, we do not need ZOMGOD to hover over us like a cross at a book-burning, we do not need the gov't to create laws to tell us to shelter our kids.And to the third quote: for every account of someone meeting up with someone else that they met online and it going awry, I'll give you 10 instances of someone meeting someone else in the "real world" and the same thing happening. Just because online encounters are getting more mainstream media coverage does NOT mean it happens more.I'll tell you how to handle someone who sends your kid a sexual message...STEP ONE: Confront the person. Don't run to the cops because some 40 year old guy just told your 15 year old girl that her boobs are puurty. Your girl shouldn't be putting up skanky pictures in the first place. Just tell the guy to back off or you'll be forced to take action, and, more than likely, he will. If he doesn't, hit that little Print Screen button at the top of your keyboard and take it to the cops.My girlfriend has been hit on over the internet a few times, and everytime I've told the guy to back off. I didn't flip, I didn't threaten, I told him to not do it anymore and he stopped. Maybe some parents need to learn how to... well... parent.STEP TWO: Since you can't be them, join 'em. Make your own MySpace/Xanga/Friendster and be your kid's friend. Make sure that you go on during work and comment, and keep up with what his/her friends are saying. Don't go all out and demand passwords, but be the cool mom/dad and be a part of his/her life, not the controller of it. I'll bet your kid blossoms to be one of the few cultured, responsible, and mentally nourished that this country so needs at the moment.My apologies for the long post, but I felt the need.Ceolwulf17 years oldSenior in highschooledited for teh sperring mistaks lawl